As part of my 20 Things to Know in your 20’s post I’ve been working with a series of bloggers to provide you with a little post filled with knowledge every Tuesday and Thursday until I turn 22.
This weeks post is by Hannah! Be sure to check out her links at the bottom of this post!
Relationships are hard, whether they’re romantic, familial, or platonic, and when you like or even love someone, you want to do your best to make them happy. It’s just human nature. Despite that, I’ve learned over my past 20 years on this planet, as important as being kind to others is, nothing is more important than being kind to yourself.
When you’re lucky enough to find out who you are, you have to grab ahold of that person and grip them tight. It’s not uncommon to act differently with other people, but when that behaviour turns you into a completely different person, it becomes dangerous. By portraying so many sides or personalities it becomes easy to lose track of who you really are. You may lose that core instinct or gut feeling you get when something happens that you know is wrong. That can change your whole belief system. Sometimes that may be a good thing, but if you’re doing it to please someone else and make them want to be friends with you, then it is for the wrong reasons.
By being yourself, you’re letting other people see the you they’ll want to be friends with. And if the people you’re surrounded by right now don’t like that person, screw them, you’ll find someone who loves you for all you are. The only way to create and maintain better relationships with others is by showing them your true self. Your weird, quirky, singing-in-the-shower self. Even If they won’t love you right now, you have to learn to love yourself and feel happy being you – sing in that shower loud and proud.
Unfortunately, it seems like nowadays, society and the media has this chokehold over what kind of person you’re expected to be. You have to be skinny, but you also have to have curves, you’ve got to like make up but you’re also supposed to be really into sport, you have to look a certain way, like certain things, and be this super-powered idol who is some mashed up combination of everything everyone in the entire world likes. I say no to that. It’s just not possible. Like the things you like, wear the things you want, and be the person you are. It becomes so exhausting trying to be every single thing at once and at some point you’ll realise it was all for nothing because ultimately you can’t change who you are deep down inside.
You don’t have to please anyone but yourself. Pretending to like something to fit in with others won’t make you feel any happier and it certainly won’t help you in the long run. Not everyone is going to like you and that’s okay. It’s good to want to please others but you have to put yourself first. Life isn’t easy, relationships are hard, and finding out who you are takes time. Just make sure that when you find out who that person is, don’t pretend to be someone you’re not because the only way you’ll ever be happy is by staying true to yourself.